This sums up my week perfectly



Trying to Stick Me for My Papers

“Thank you for your patience.  You’ll be assisted by the next available representative.”   I’ve been hearing this phrase on repeat for the past 30 minutes.  I log in to my bank account to pay bills and what do I see?  Four fraudulent charges to my account.  I’ve had a low-grade migraine all day. Commuting home and then getting home from the grocery store took forever.   Now I discover missing money from my damn checking account.

What the fuck, man? I have every alert possible that my bank allows and these charges still got through.   A woman is displeased.

I finally got through to my bank and they crediting the money back to me, disabling my debit card, and sending me a new card.

Ugh…the price of online banking is eternal vigilance.











Hello Readers,

A glorious thing has happened. No, I’m not World Overlord…yet

I have lost 13lbs!!!!

I went in for a 6 month check-up.  The doctor comes in to the exam room while she was looking at the stats that the nurse just took. “Do you realize that you’ve lost 13lbs since November?  Oh my God!  That’s so good!  What are you doing?  Diet, exercise, or both?”

While she’s giving me kudos and asking questions, I’m internally screaming “13!!” like I’m Titus Pullo.

It feels good to see that some of my hard work is pay off.   I put in my FitBit goals that I wanted to lose 25 lbs and I’m half way there.

So to all of my family and friends that encouraged me.  Thank you so much for your support.

To all of the people that just couldn’t wait to declare that Planet Fitness “is not a real gym” when others were mentioning my progress…

I’m off to gym and to run errands.  Remember our Fit Girl battle cry: Michelle Obama arms and J.Lo legs! So let it be written, so let it be done.

A Smelly Pocket of Air

Hello Readers,

There is an excellent scene in the cartoon series Futurama where Robot Mafia henchman Joey Mousepad visits the Planet Express office and accidentally punches Dr. Zoidberg (notoriously malodorous), whom has temporarily been made invisible.  As Joey leaves the office, he tells them to watch out as there is “a smelly pocket of air over there.”

That is how I felt at the gym a few days ago.   Like I previously wrote, the gym etiquette is desperately lacking these days.  I thought people sitting on the machines for-fucking-ever or not wiping down the equipment were the worst crimes.   Oh, how horribly mistaken I was.

When you leave a machine or the weight area, your damn scent shouldn’t linger.   THAT IS INEXCUSABLE!!! Wear fresh clothes to the gym and for God’s sake, people, properly bathe and exfoliate. Your sweat shouldn’t smell like the funk of forty thousand years!

Get it together, dammit.

Adieu, February

Wow!  What a month.  I turned 33 and had a nice, subtle birthday night out.  I finally refreshed the furniture in my bedroom and furnished the guest room.  Yay for being an adult.  However, the snow and my constant colds/sinusitis put a bit of a damper on things.   I’ve been extremely burnt out and lethargic this month.  I’m completely off my schedule in nearly all aspects of my life.

Tomorrow, I’m going to start fresh and hopefully get myself back on track.





I am 33 lipsticks and then some…

Hello Readers,

I hope that new year has found you well.  Well it’s February now.  So you have a had a whole month to see how those resolutions are going.

I’ve continued with the exercise and diet regime that I started in October.  I’m down a dress size and my iron levels have improved.  Muscle tone on fleek.

I’ve also turned into one of those people that hate some of the new people at the gym.   I hate the machine hogs, the people that never wipe the equipment down after use, and the folks that work out in jeans.  Just plain trifling. Get it together, dammit!

I’ve also been reading several times at week.  I usually read about 15 minutes before bedtime.  I hope to finish my current book before the end of the month.

My other resolution was that I wanted to save more money in my regular savings account and do more investing.  I’ve gone over my budget deciding what to cut out and one line items sticks out like a sour thumb: beauty purchases.   I have 33 lipsticks, 11 blushes, 8 highlighters, 29 eyeshadows, and 4 foundations/tinted moisturizers.  That’s actually considered a small collection if you follow any beauty gurus on YouTube, Instagram, etc.  I’m just saying…

Makeup is like crayons for your face. It’s fun. It’s one of the few extremely girly aspects of my person that I embrace.

A new collection comes out, I go to the makeup counters and I’m like:

Then I get home:

It’s a struggle.  I want all the things!

I’ve got lipsticks and glosses a plenty
I’ve got highlighters and liners galore
You want blushes? I got eleven
But who cares? No big deal
I want moooooooorrrrre!*

Everything is so pretty; but since I have more than enough makeup, I’ve decided to cut back tremendously on what I buy.   I should really focus on using what I have and only replacing things that I use up frequently like liners and mascara.

So for the betterment of my financial future, I shall be devoting beauty funds to investing funds.  I have my rollover 401k’s with Fidelity and I recently started micro-investing with Acorns.  Also, all of my eBates rebates and FatWallet cash back will go toward investing with into Fidelity and Acorns.

I showed discipline with the fitness training and I know that I can do it for the investing.

*Bonus points for me if I made you start humming Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid.







Merry Christmas!

Hello Readers!

The last few weeks have been crazy.  We agreed in my family that only the children would get gifts this year, but that rule was broken.   So for the past four days, I’ve been Christmas shopping online and in stores.  I hate feeling rushed when shopping.  I normally have all of my gifts bought and wrapped before mid-December.

Luckily, my packages were delivered in time and I only saw one person act like a damned fool while shopping.  This woman started screaming her head off at some poor sales associate. People please act like you some damn manners and breeding!   The average sales associate doesn’t have infinite powers.  If you want to do some type of weird transaction or use a coupon that expired 50-11 years ago, go to talk to the manager.  I salute you, American sales associates; because I would kick irate shoppers out and tell them to kiss my holly, jolly black ass.  Real talk.

I spent the bulk of my afternoon and evening getting last minute gifts, wrapping, cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry.

Behold these lovely treats that I will be taking to my family:

Golden Rum Cake


Christmas Wreath Rice Krispie Treats/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/c4f/54835835/files/2014/12/img_1139.jpg

I have food and gifts for my family, a clean house, and clothes.   I’m so tired, but it was worth.

Merry Christmas, readers!

Here is a clip from one of my favorite Christmas:  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  You have to love Clark Griswold.  He just wants to have a great life with his family and those occasionally kicks in the ass that life throws out just sends him reeling.   I have rants like this, so I can relate.  He should have won an Oscar for this scene alone.






Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, readers!

I haven’t posted as much as I would like in the past few months and I’m trying to fix that.

So what’s hot in the streets?  Last night, my sister asked me when I was going to cook holiday dinner and invite everyone over?

Girl, what?


I’m a few years off from having that type of gathering, but it would be nice.   I should definitely try it.  The cooking part won’t bother me, just mentally preparing myself for being a host. So exhausting!

Today, I’m going to my friend’s house and all I have to do is make a dessert and bring sodas. Shazam!

For what are you thankful, dear readers?  Instead of always focusing on what we are missing (I see you Black Friday advertisers!), let’s talk about the wonderful things that we already have.

I’m thankful for:

  • My crazy family and friends
  • My health.
  • Gainful employment – yes there are days when I’m ready to smack someone, but jobs are difficult to come by.

I’m off to get the day started.   I still have to make dessert and call my out of town family since I won’t see them today.

Be safe and have a great Thanksgiving!


P.S.  There is a new Pikachu balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!


Real Talk, You need to be voting

Okay, VA and MD democrats.  We’re about to have a “come to Jesus” meeting.  Please explain why Senator Warner is fighting hard for his US senate seat and Anthony Brown is not the Governor of MD.
“I was too busy to vote.”  “I forgot that it was election day.” “I thought so-and-so had the win on lock.”
You lazy trollops.  Do you know what republicans do come hell or high water?  They vote.  In primaries, in general elections, and presidential elections; they vote.
What do some of y’all do?  Continue to vote in presidential elections only.  I’ve said this to people so many times: The president is not a one-man band.   Congress, the Supreme Court, and the President make up three coequal branches of government with separate powers and checks and balances.
Congress has the power of the purse and therefore a lot more control over your daily life than any president ever will.  Republicans know this and vote accordingly.  Democrats seem blind to this fact and decide to stay home because “the president isn’t doing what I want.”
Even worse, I see talking heads like Tavis Smiley telling black voters to stay home because the president has done nothing for black people.  He knows good damn and well the history of American voting rights and that is what he tells people.  What is his purpose?
And that leads me to what is truly upsetting me.  The right to vote is precarious.  It can be taken away.  I don’t care who you vote for, but vote dammit.
It used to be that only the wealthy, landed male gentry could vote throughout the ages.  Do not think for one minute that some people don’t want to return to those days.
Non-white men got the right in 1870 and women only got the right in 1920.  That’s only a few generations ago.  America still had to pass the Voting Rights Act in 1965 to stop backwards bumpkin states from disenfranchising voters.  That was only 49 years ago.  That is nothing on the grand scale of human civilization.
People have fought and died for the right to have a voice in their government and every election I see people squander their opportunity to vote as if every citizen voting has always existed.
I implore you.  Check out the history of suffrage. Check out your candidates.  Look at their voting records, read news articles about them for multiple sources.  Stop sitting there wasting your hard-earned right to vote.
Because if I end up in some The Handmaid’s Tale or 1984 type of dystopia, I’m busting your non-voting ass before they drag me away for being a dissident.

Fall is here

Fall is here and the last time that I posted, it was technically still summer.  Hello Readers!

So let’s see.  I’m still on my health journey or as my friend Jennifer would call it “Get it right, get it tight” journey.

I was taking the stairs religiously at work until I got what I think it is either a shin splint or a muscle sprain.  I’m fine now, so I shall resume the stairs.

I drastically reduced my meat and soda intake.  I had a physical last week and the doctor likes all of my numbers except my weight and my iron levels.  I’m severely anemic.  Which would probably explain why I’m so cold all of the time and why I’m still bruised at the spot on my arm where the nurse took blood.

The doctor wants to me to go the gym at least 4 times a week and add more strength training to more cardio.  I’m already working on that.

I started green smoothies.  Yes, those damned nutribullet infomercials (and my friend’s endorsement) finally got me.  I’ve been drinking kale-fruit smoothies for over a week now. Maybe that is why I’m sick today.  All of the toxins are hopefully leaving my system.

I’m going to go drink some more water and lie down.









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