The Commander and The Architect

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time.  I have a friend at work.  A friend with whom I sometimes get very angry and wonder why we’re friends in the first damn place, but still a friend.

I watch her lash out at everyone about situations that are beyond her control.  I see the angst when other colleagues purposely needle her because they know every single button to push.  She’ll come to my desk, get advice from me, and turn around and fall back into the same traps.

Welcome to the friendship of the ENTJ and the INTJ: The Commander and the Architect.  It’s complicated.

For the most part, I agree with her grievances.  Our office could be so much more efficient and functional.  She will keep pushing and come hell or high water, she will find a way to get her vision realized. Why? Because that is what a commander does!  You lead.  You step up to the challenge.  You solve the problems.  Feelings be damned, this is business.

And that’s where the messy part comes in: feelings. Most managers don’t want to hear there are areas under their control that need improvement.  Most colleagues don’t want to hear how they are potentially making things difficult in the office.  It hurts their egos and their feelings.  Feelings are usually the weak spot of an xNTJ’s existence.  We’re so damned blunt and analytical that we forget that some things that appears to us as standard problems to be solved involve a lot of emotion to other people.

Knowing my friend’s MBTI makes it easier for me to calm down and let go of my anger when we do come into conflict.  We both want the same thing: an efficient work environment.  However, our methodologies and expectations are vastly different.  I may want a certain work environment, but I know that I may not get it.  So I do my best to work with the situations I’m given.  I build my little work cocoon and go about my business.  If I tell you something is broken, if you choose not to fix it, that’s not my problem.  An ENTJ just can’t get to that level of detachment and INTJ just cannot get riled up over things that they realistically cannot change.  So, boom! Fireworks!

 

 

 

 

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Sadly, one of my dear friends, was railroaded by some TBMs and was let go from her position.  Despite it all, she never lost her faith nor her good spirits.  She actually said “I’m going to pray for them.”   She’s such a doll.  She went to the office each day and did a great job despite it all.  I applaud her.

Honestly, when I see jerks mistreating people, I cannot bring myself to say that I’m going to pray for them.  I’m incapable of it.  I don’t know if it is an INTJ thing or what, but if you go around fucking with people just because you can, I feel that you deserve scorn, not my prayers.  I’m just not that great of a person in this regard.   I’ve had so many friends and family tell me “I hope to never be on your bad side.”

This is how feel about jerks:

 

Okay, I’m only 30% serious about that.  I don’t actively wish for bad things to happen to bad people, but I cannot say that I won’t cackle like a mad scientist when karma bites them in the ass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cubicle Farm is a Battlefield: The Introvert and the TBMs

Why oh why, do Americans have to spend so much time in the workplace?  We’re one of the hardest working countries in the Developed World and we receive and use the least amount of vacation days.

In my last post about office life, I lamented about the loss of physical and personal boundaries and the energy vampires, Overly familiar Fred and Habitual line-stepper Harriet, that roam the cubicle farm looking for fresh introverts to feed off.  Once you spot the energy vampires, you can pretty much come up with a plan to avoid them or severely limit contact.

However, there is much more sinister creature out there in the cubicle farmlands of America: That Bitch Molly.   TBMs just come to work to make life miserable for people.  Nothing you will do or say will ever be right in a TBM’s eyes because their hostility amps are always on 11.  They approach every single situation as if you are their mortal enemy and you must be destroyed.  I’ve found the majority of the time, TBMs zero in and mistreat people to demonstrate their power and/or feel better about their own insecurities.

Example:
TBM: Peter, what time is it?
Peter: It’s noon.
TBM: <looks down and double checks his/her watch> Actually, it’s 12:01 and 48 seconds.  <walks off in a huff and proceeds to tell the whole office how Peter purposely gave him/her the wrong time>
Peter:

TBMs would annoying to any damn body, but they are soul-crushing to introverts. TBMs carry so much negative energy and they try damnedest to transfer that negativity on to you.  As introverts, we are very empathetic such that we can’t help but to take TBMs’ foolywang personally and start internalizing their malicious vibes.

It defies logic for someone to behave in such a manner.  Why would you come to work, or any place else for that matter, and be such a bitch for no damn reason? INFPs, INTPs, and INFJs are more sensitive to this behavior.  All of my friends that fall under these personality groups have really been catching hell this month from TBMs in their offices.

At my last job, I actually let TBMs get to me the point where I was complaining every day to my friends and having panic attacks.  Now I’m like:

But seriously, if TBMs are your colleagues, tell them to calm their tits.  If the TBMs are in management, now you have problems.  You can only adjust your personality, bite your tongue, and chafe under managerial TBMs for so long.  If you find yourself thinking how wonderful it would be if your TBM fell and broke a leg; it’s time to move on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Scene: The Godfather

The Godfather is one of my favorite movies.   I still remember the first time that I saw it.   I was in fifth grade and my mom bought the video and we watched it.  I was an advanced child.  The movie definitely left a lasting impression on me.  Not in the “aren’t gangsters cool?” kind of way; these characters are psychologically interesting.  TV Tropes have identified characters Michael & Vito Corleone (the titular godfathers of the movies) and Tom Hagan (their brother & son, respectively) as INTJs.   I knew it!!!  All three characters are quiet, logical, even-minded, and utterly ruthless.  While Vito and Tom can present a more friendlier manner than Michael’s usual iciness, the viewer can never forgot through their actions that all three have committed horrific crimes in the name of family and business.

So that leads us to one of my favorite scenes from The Godfather.  A lot of movie buffs speak of the famous Baptismal Massacre scene, but the scene actually does nothing for me despite being very well executed.   It’s one of the following scenes that falls into my favorite bucket.

In this scene, Michael and Tom go to confront their little sister Connie’s husband, Carlo.  Carlo is cheating, wife-beating, raggedy ass, golddigging son of bitch.  And it is also heavily implied throughout the movie that he was involved in the death of their brother (and former godfather) Sonny.  In the past, Sonny kept Carlo out of the family business for being an outsider and once beat the stuffing out of him upon finding out that Carlo assaulted a pregnant Connie.

For the audience, there was only maybe a split second where we actually believe that Michael wouldn’t make his sister a widow.  After all, he just stood in church as godfather to Carlo and Connie’s second child. Of course, he also just stood in church while all of the opposition Mafia leaders were being shot to pieces at his behest. So there’s that hiccup for Carlo.

The timeline in The Godfather is never explicitly spelled out.  We know that the movie starts off in 1945 and then after that it gets a little hazy.  Based on what I remember from the book and from the age of the children in The Godfather, Part 2, at least, 8 to 10 years have passed in Part 1.  Michael was gone for several years in Sicily to avoid jail for a killing a corrupt police captain.  Sonny was the godfather for a least few years.  So let’s say that from the point that Michael takes over until the end of Part 1 spans 4 to 5 years.  In that timespan, he brings Carlo in as his lefthand man.   Carlo is in almost all of the family business.  That is what makes this scene so sinister.  For years, Michael has lulled this man into a false sense of security and then comes down on him suddenly like a ton of bricks.

That is some cold-blooded shit.  See, Carlo could see a man like Sonny coming a mile away.  He was like a bull in a china shop.  If Sonny was displeased with you, you most definitely knew it; but Michael, Vito, and Tom wait with the patience of a spider and then strike.  Those magnificent bastards.

 

Real Music Thursday: DMX

Mocha Pikachu is having the damnedest time lately.   It’s a stressful time at the office and I feel incredibly overwhelmed and underappreciated.  I look calm on the outside, but inside…SERENITY NOW!

So today’s Real Music Thursday is about the man that makes music to let you get the stress out: DMX.  Darkman X.  Earl!

Almost any of his songs will do, but Party Up! is the one that gets me going.   Don’t be fooled by the jolliness of the name.  Party Up! has some hard ass lyrics.  Just look at the chorus:

Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me go all out up in here, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL up in HERE, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool up in here, up in here

I defy you to not blast this song and while running around the house acting like you’re on stage at concert.

I’ve played this song twice today.  I feel better already.  Enjoy and SERENITY NOW!

America, the Cubicle Farm, and the Introvert

This post is dedicated to Davina and all the introverts sitting in the cubicle farms explaining for the 50-11th time that “nothing is wrong.”

You know, as Americans spend an ever increasing time at the office, the boundary between the professional and the personal gets harder to maintain.

I’m content to go into the office, do my job, and go home. If I happen to become friends with some of the colleagues while there, then great. If not, I’m content with just being colleagues. I hear this same reasoning from a lot of introverts.

Deep down, I think that most people sort of get this about introverts. Now people will still ask us “what’s wrong?” or “why are you so quiet?” but there’s no malice or nitpicking behind it. American culture just values extroversion, so we introverts are seen in a curious light.

However, the bane of the common introvert’s existence in the cubicle farm is Overly familiar Fred or Habitual line-stepper Harriet (Guys can be a Harriet and Gals can be a Fred). Fred and Harriet get their “lives” so to speak at work. They try to take liberties with you because they foolishly mistake your silence for weakness.

If you don’t have a Fred or a Harriet at your office, you are truly blessed. For Fred and Harriet could test the patience of Job.

Fred is the pushy office busy-body that wants to know what everyone is doing and be everyone’s bud. How does Fred annoy the common introvert? Fred will come to your desk to discuss with you the exact time that you arrived, how many times that you went to restroom at work, what time you went to lunch, and the internet news article that you read at your desk during lunch. Do you know why? Because Fred is concerned about you, dammit! You don’t interact with Fred unless it is work related and you try your damnedest to keep the chit-chat to a minimum. Something has to be wrong with you. Come hell or high water, Fred is going to try to make you get on his level of friendliness. Fred is not necessarily a mean guy, but because he is so pushy and tries to be all in your business, you end up viewing him as an energy vampire.

Harriet is just an asshole. A tragic asshole, but still an asshole. There ain’t a nice way to put that. Unlike Fred, who annoys with you the mundane, Harriet just crosses the line of what is normal office behavior. In fact, Harriet stomps the hell out of the line and then salts the earth under the line. Chick is crazy, yo. Harriet takes the common introvert’s general silence and cordial distance as a personal damn insult. Harriet is at work to primarily socialize and feed some emotional need that she is not getting at home. If Fred is an energy vampire, then Harriet is a supermassive black hole. If she feels unloved at home, then she needs you to be her loving friend. If she feels powerless, then she tries to exercise undue power over you.

And by the way, Harriet does not tell you that you’ve been assigned to fulfill this need. You will just gradually notice that Harriet has no sense of propriety when it comes to your boundaries. Harriet is the type of colleague that will piss fire if you go to lunch without her. Harriet will get rude with you and talk out the side of her damn neck when you have to explain/remind her that she is not your supervisor. The common introvert may have to expend a lot of energy dealing with this foolish individual. See once it’s been explained to Harriet through deeds and/or words that we are just here to work, she can become hostile or an emotional land mine because we’re messing with her grand plan by not being her pawn.

For me, I’m generally cordial to the Fred’s and I try not to let my annoyance show, but I still continue on as my normal self. Deal with it.

I avoid the Harriet’s like the plague. People that cannot keep their emotions in check in a business setting are dangerous to me and I don’t have time for that.

Real Music Thursday

Hello Readers,

As you know, Mocha Pikachu is in the process of buying a house.  I’ve been quietly telling myself for over a year that it’s time to have a little something to call my own.   I’m tired of apartment living and the rent increases and the thin walls and the crazy ass neighbors.

Now that ball is rolling, I’m freaking the hell out on the inside. I’m not a fan of debt, but I’m also not a Rockefeller, so mortgage debt will be a part of my life.

I’ve had a few sleepless nights wondering if this is the right thing or is everything going to pull together in time.

So today’s song is Colin Hay’s Overkill.  The lyrics especially speak to me during this stressful time. Trying to imagine every scenario in a situation is normally what I do.  It’s just something that introverts do.  However, in this situation, my imagination is getting the best of me.  It’s overkill and I need to reel it in.

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving into deep 
And possibly the complications…

Welcome!

Hello All,

Hopefully this will be the first post of many.  My name is Jennifer and I’m an introvert.  The main thing about introverts is that while we may seem quiet, our minds are going at light speed.

This blog will reflect my busy mind.  So you might read about beauty products, politics, nerdy stuff, or just general fuckery.

 

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