The Commander and The Architect

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time.  I have a friend at work.  A friend with whom I sometimes get very angry and wonder why we’re friends in the first damn place, but still a friend.

I watch her lash out at everyone about situations that are beyond her control.  I see the angst when other colleagues purposely needle her because they know every single button to push.  She’ll come to my desk, get advice from me, and turn around and fall back into the same traps.

Welcome to the friendship of the ENTJ and the INTJ: The Commander and the Architect.  It’s complicated.

For the most part, I agree with her grievances.  Our office could be so much more efficient and functional.  She will keep pushing and come hell or high water, she will find a way to get her vision realized. Why? Because that is what a commander does!  You lead.  You step up to the challenge.  You solve the problems.  Feelings be damned, this is business.

And that’s where the messy part comes in: feelings. Most managers don’t want to hear there are areas under their control that need improvement.  Most colleagues don’t want to hear how they are potentially making things difficult in the office.  It hurts their egos and their feelings.  Feelings are usually the weak spot of an xNTJ’s existence.  We’re so damned blunt and analytical that we forget that some things that appears to us as standard problems to be solved involve a lot of emotion to other people.

Knowing my friend’s MBTI makes it easier for me to calm down and let go of my anger when we do come into conflict.  We both want the same thing: an efficient work environment.  However, our methodologies and expectations are vastly different.  I may want a certain work environment, but I know that I may not get it.  So I do my best to work with the situations I’m given.  I build my little work cocoon and go about my business.  If I tell you something is broken, if you choose not to fix it, that’s not my problem.  An ENTJ just can’t get to that level of detachment and INTJ just cannot get riled up over things that they realistically cannot change.  So, boom! Fireworks!

 

 

 

 

The Cubicle Farm is a Battlefield: The Introvert and the TBMs

Why oh why, do Americans have to spend so much time in the workplace?  We’re one of the hardest working countries in the Developed World and we receive and use the least amount of vacation days.

In my last post about office life, I lamented about the loss of physical and personal boundaries and the energy vampires, Overly familiar Fred and Habitual line-stepper Harriet, that roam the cubicle farm looking for fresh introverts to feed off.  Once you spot the energy vampires, you can pretty much come up with a plan to avoid them or severely limit contact.

However, there is much more sinister creature out there in the cubicle farmlands of America: That Bitch Molly.   TBMs just come to work to make life miserable for people.  Nothing you will do or say will ever be right in a TBM’s eyes because their hostility amps are always on 11.  They approach every single situation as if you are their mortal enemy and you must be destroyed.  I’ve found the majority of the time, TBMs zero in and mistreat people to demonstrate their power and/or feel better about their own insecurities.

Example:
TBM: Peter, what time is it?
Peter: It’s noon.
TBM: <looks down and double checks his/her watch> Actually, it’s 12:01 and 48 seconds.  <walks off in a huff and proceeds to tell the whole office how Peter purposely gave him/her the wrong time>
Peter:

TBMs would annoying to any damn body, but they are soul-crushing to introverts. TBMs carry so much negative energy and they try damnedest to transfer that negativity on to you.  As introverts, we are very empathetic such that we can’t help but to take TBMs’ foolywang personally and start internalizing their malicious vibes.

It defies logic for someone to behave in such a manner.  Why would you come to work, or any place else for that matter, and be such a bitch for no damn reason? INFPs, INTPs, and INFJs are more sensitive to this behavior.  All of my friends that fall under these personality groups have really been catching hell this month from TBMs in their offices.

At my last job, I actually let TBMs get to me the point where I was complaining every day to my friends and having panic attacks.  Now I’m like:

But seriously, if TBMs are your colleagues, tell them to calm their tits.  If the TBMs are in management, now you have problems.  You can only adjust your personality, bite your tongue, and chafe under managerial TBMs for so long.  If you find yourself thinking how wonderful it would be if your TBM fell and broke a leg; it’s time to move on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fools and Charlatans: The Federal Government Shutdown

Mocha Pikachu along with over a million others is at home today when I should have been at work.   I’m one of the over a million people affected by the Federal Government shutdown. Newsflash to all of you Republican trolls in Congress so happy to stick it to the President, all you’ve done is hurt a bunch of federal employees and private sector employees.  Yes, even the precious private sector that y’all profess to love, and of which I’m a member, is affected too.  My employer is still trying to figure out what to do with us.

So while y’all slack-jowled bastards get to pat yourselves on the back for a job done horribly, we will sit and ponder how long our savings (if we are lucky enough to have any) will sustain us.  It’s expensive as hell to live in the DC Metro Area and federal employees and contractors aren’t ballin’ out of control they way that some would have you believe.

We’re regular Americans.  We have mortgage/rent and bills to pay.  We have families to support.  We’re not idealistic fools that still get paid no matter how many lives we destroy.

What the hell does it say about this nation that the biggest internal fights are always about civil rights and the public good?

What is so wrong about letting people get access to insurance and not having pre-existing conditions clauses?  It is not the Universal Healthcare that would normally have y’all pissing your pants.  Insurance companies are about to get paid off the Affordable Care Act.  I thought y’all were pro-business.

Or are you more anti-black than anything else?

All I know is Boehner better put down the MAC NC42 Studio Fix powder, dry those bitchmade tears, and go start kicking some ass in his own party.  2013 is not 1996.   Americans are worse off due to Corporate and Government mismanagement.   Things will get ugly.

Real Music Thursday: DMX

Mocha Pikachu is having the damnedest time lately.   It’s a stressful time at the office and I feel incredibly overwhelmed and underappreciated.  I look calm on the outside, but inside…SERENITY NOW!

So today’s Real Music Thursday is about the man that makes music to let you get the stress out: DMX.  Darkman X.  Earl!

Almost any of his songs will do, but Party Up! is the one that gets me going.   Don’t be fooled by the jolliness of the name.  Party Up! has some hard ass lyrics.  Just look at the chorus:

Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me go all out up in here, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL up in HERE, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool up in here, up in here

I defy you to not blast this song and while running around the house acting like you’re on stage at concert.

I’ve played this song twice today.  I feel better already.  Enjoy and SERENITY NOW!

America, the Cubicle Farm, and the Introvert

This post is dedicated to Davina and all the introverts sitting in the cubicle farms explaining for the 50-11th time that “nothing is wrong.”

You know, as Americans spend an ever increasing time at the office, the boundary between the professional and the personal gets harder to maintain.

I’m content to go into the office, do my job, and go home. If I happen to become friends with some of the colleagues while there, then great. If not, I’m content with just being colleagues. I hear this same reasoning from a lot of introverts.

Deep down, I think that most people sort of get this about introverts. Now people will still ask us “what’s wrong?” or “why are you so quiet?” but there’s no malice or nitpicking behind it. American culture just values extroversion, so we introverts are seen in a curious light.

However, the bane of the common introvert’s existence in the cubicle farm is Overly familiar Fred or Habitual line-stepper Harriet (Guys can be a Harriet and Gals can be a Fred). Fred and Harriet get their “lives” so to speak at work. They try to take liberties with you because they foolishly mistake your silence for weakness.

If you don’t have a Fred or a Harriet at your office, you are truly blessed. For Fred and Harriet could test the patience of Job.

Fred is the pushy office busy-body that wants to know what everyone is doing and be everyone’s bud. How does Fred annoy the common introvert? Fred will come to your desk to discuss with you the exact time that you arrived, how many times that you went to restroom at work, what time you went to lunch, and the internet news article that you read at your desk during lunch. Do you know why? Because Fred is concerned about you, dammit! You don’t interact with Fred unless it is work related and you try your damnedest to keep the chit-chat to a minimum. Something has to be wrong with you. Come hell or high water, Fred is going to try to make you get on his level of friendliness. Fred is not necessarily a mean guy, but because he is so pushy and tries to be all in your business, you end up viewing him as an energy vampire.

Harriet is just an asshole. A tragic asshole, but still an asshole. There ain’t a nice way to put that. Unlike Fred, who annoys with you the mundane, Harriet just crosses the line of what is normal office behavior. In fact, Harriet stomps the hell out of the line and then salts the earth under the line. Chick is crazy, yo. Harriet takes the common introvert’s general silence and cordial distance as a personal damn insult. Harriet is at work to primarily socialize and feed some emotional need that she is not getting at home. If Fred is an energy vampire, then Harriet is a supermassive black hole. If she feels unloved at home, then she needs you to be her loving friend. If she feels powerless, then she tries to exercise undue power over you.

And by the way, Harriet does not tell you that you’ve been assigned to fulfill this need. You will just gradually notice that Harriet has no sense of propriety when it comes to your boundaries. Harriet is the type of colleague that will piss fire if you go to lunch without her. Harriet will get rude with you and talk out the side of her damn neck when you have to explain/remind her that she is not your supervisor. The common introvert may have to expend a lot of energy dealing with this foolish individual. See once it’s been explained to Harriet through deeds and/or words that we are just here to work, she can become hostile or an emotional land mine because we’re messing with her grand plan by not being her pawn.

For me, I’m generally cordial to the Fred’s and I try not to let my annoyance show, but I still continue on as my normal self. Deal with it.

I avoid the Harriet’s like the plague. People that cannot keep their emotions in check in a business setting are dangerous to me and I don’t have time for that.

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